I been the type of person who has to get their feelings out one way or other; well anger has been that outlet and has become one of my worst enemies recently. Every little things pisses me off; I don’t know whether its the hormones adjusting or second round of puberty but whatever it is I need to get rid of it or find a way to channel it.
It been a while that I been dealing with the stress, the work load, sometimes the loneliness, is getting me to push myself, to explore more and more of who I am- I been spending too much time with myself, per se. I am starting to feel like I need to find a away to explore this realm – who knows where I would end up. Though recently my interest has been in reading other peoples life; seeing their perspective on things and that’s been working. I am starting to see the world a slight bit differently than normal. Perhaps that’s the way to go. A day at a time.
I know a major change has taken place and well unlike seasons I am not that great with change. The hope is to be a better person at the end of the day but who knows.
The privilege that we often take for granted; driving. Driving is something I miss after moving into the New York City with my husband; people barely drive here. Plus its so crowded and there is barely any space to do anything. Relying on transportation such as a Subway and the buses is something I never thought I would do.
Growing up in New Jersey I got a car at 19 and having a car meant freedom.. lots of freedom. For a college student, that meant you can practically do anything and everything you wanted.
Especially knowing the struggles that my mother went through. My mother who doesn’t drive because of her fear of getting into accidents but the most important thing she did was she fought to get me that car. Every step I see her struggle to get to work, to get home on time, though she barely works 10 mins away. Even after being in the Americas for 10+ years and being the first one to get the license in NJ, she doesn’t drive. I have tried to be the person who help her learn to drive once again, to get that confidence, but in trying to do that I made her fears come true, we got into a huge accident and she had to pay hard for that. Well after that we stopped completely, no more driving and I still feel I wish I could help her gain the courage. Knowing that she has had a hard life I want to be able to do something for but there I times I feel more helpless than her.
Thank You to Sonya Larose for the idea. If it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t have thought of the whole memory.
Starting of the new year like many I set goals, and promising to follow up with them everyday.
Like the goal to start a blog after doing hours of research on where to start I decided and found two places to start blogging but after first few post. I stopped as always and there went my goal out the window.
Earlier today as I was just reading articles and searching for something pass my hours at home I bumped into the blog of Dan Ariely.
After reading about the first ten blogs posts or so- I decided maybe its time I go back and add one of my own blogs. Here is to Dan Ariely to getting me inspired again.
I often wonder why is it that people, “fall of the wagon”, when it comes to following their new set goals? Like many it happens to me all the time I cant keep myself on a schedule even after wanting to reach the goal. Is it because I am lazy? I have tried numerous ways to keep up with new things but after a while I lose interest.
Everything takes for ever!
Everything needs research. In this world of technology we all playing catch up.. whether its from yourself or from the world.
Either someone is trying to catch up with school ( all those procrastinators).. or playing catch up with work ( because you had to attend that party).. there is not a minute that anyone wants to take a break to relax and see the moment.. who am I kidding? who has a time for break?! We all are trying to reach a goal.. a never-ending goal which just gets replaced by other goals as time passes.. truthfully as we get old..and cranky..
I hate the idea of bogging.. because I never get to it.. but at the same time I want something to add to my never-ending list of work.. I try and try sometimes the technology, the work, the school just gets in the way of everything.
who doesn’t want to be something? we all want money we all want happiness; and the sad thing is that those two things never goes hand in hand. But I try each day to make them work, that’s my goal to be happy and to be rich.
Anyway. the plan is to blog not to get my thoughts out and to make sense of things on my journey to be happy and rich.